I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
