But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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