For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
