His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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