dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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