What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
