i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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