Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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