pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
