I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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