Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize