i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
