The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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