TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
