Rock
Scissors
Fuck
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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