If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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