One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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