ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
