I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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