I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
