before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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