I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
