Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
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Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize