why do cheetos always look like penises
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
