someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Drunk is not a location!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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