somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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