guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize