If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
