P.S. I can't hear my feet
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
