You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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