this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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