my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
