i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
