Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I need to calm my uterus...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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