I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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