I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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