Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
These tits shall not be calmed
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
