I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
