found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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