he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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