Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
