Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I don't deserve a penis
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I believe in your delicious
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
