I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it glows. i had to have it.
should my penis look like a turkey
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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