She is in my trunk
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
