i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
