So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
