She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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