On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
