Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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