We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Michael Bay diarrhea
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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