im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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