There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
