She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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