There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
