Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
