white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
