I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
