Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
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I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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