yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
