would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
