Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
